(05-12-2013, 08:21 AM)Zarkaylia Wrote: Greetings and welcome! We apologize for the wait, we might not be able to reply within 24 hours from when you submitted. We humbly ask your patience and will try to have graded your application sometime during this day.

• Your backstory needs more relation to the setting's lore, which can be found here. There needs to be some relation to the lore to make this an acceptable application. While it is possible that the character's location can be so remote, word of a civil war, cultural slavery and such still travels and could have had an effect on previous generations.

• Your application doesn’t do a lot to explain the personality of the character. As an example, early on he saw people tortured and executed, this would have a pretty profound effect on him. We need to have an idea of how he was as a child, then how he changed over the years. A good place for you to start is between the start of the story and when his town was attacked.

• The skills you have provided can work, but I ask that you display them in the format found here. Bear in mind as you make these changes, that the backstory and the character’s age will have an impact on the proficiency and/or expertise of his skills.

• 'When he was 6 his parents, his friends, his best friend included, all the village' This implies that the character was captured also, yes he was not, How did he escape or evade capture? Please elaborate on this.
  'He ran as fast as he could' As before, how did he evade capture or outrun them? What were they doing when he ran away and what happened to everyone else?
  Overall, you should try to incorporate more detail in the story, much of it seems quite sudden and random after not much description of what leads up to the events is given. These two are not the only two examples of this. Please act on this and incorporate more details. We'd rather it was long and well explained than brief and vague.

(05-12-2013, 06:19 PM)Northmark Wrote: Hello there, AelSwiftblade, I'm Hutchy and I will help you get through whitelisting.

• Your backstory needs more relation to the setting's lore, which can be found here. There needs to be some relation to the lore to make this an acceptable application. While it is possible that the character's location can be so remote, word of a civil war, cultural slavery and such still travels and could have had an effect on previous generations.

• Your application doesn’t do a lot to explain the personality of the character. As an example, early on he saw people tortured and executed, this would have a pretty profound effect on him. We need to have an idea of how he was as a child, then how he changed over the years. A good place for you to start is between the start of the story and when his town was attacked.

• The skills you have provided can work, but I ask that you display them in the format found here. Bear in mind as you make these changes, that the backstory and the character’s age will have an impact on the proficiency and/or expertise of his skills.

• 'When he was 6 his parents, his friends, his best friend included, all the village' This implies that the character was captured also, yes he was not, How did he escape or evade capture? Please elaborate on this.
  'He ran as fast as he could' As before, how did he evade capture or outrun them? What were they doing when he ran away and what happened to everyone else?
  Overall, you should try to incorporate more detail in the story, much of it seems quite sudden and random after not much description of what leads up to the events is given. These two are not the only two examples of this. Please act on this and incorporate more details. We'd rather it was long and well explained than brief and vague.