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[Approved] Rahan Thuriel
#1
Rand_Rahl
How Did you Find us?: I known yall forever now
About You: I'm Rand! Potatos Sunkist and all that shazz
Character Info
Name: Rahan Thuriel or Ra
Age: 33
Gender: Male

Appearance: Rahan is roughly at 6 foot in height with brown hair and brown eyes. working in the mines has done left the man well toned

Personality: Rahan is bit of a loner, since he lived mostly for his parents and his work. Resolving to find something more outside of his quiet life though, he become a nicer fellow and willing to help out on the drop of a hat. With his quiet and isolated upbring he developed a slight sense of wanderlust and can easily become fixated on new things.
On the flipside Rahan has a fear of being trapped this could be the reason for leaving Osiris after so long

Backstory:
Capabilities:
Rahan is an experience miner. Its his life profession that he takes pride in doing if needed to. Advanced-Miner
Leaving the town Rahan has some medicore at best knowledge on what you can and cant eat, learning as he went about the mainlands Novice-Surivalist

Items:
Rahan would be bringing along his favoured pickaxe, along with some food and coin beyond that he has nothing to his name.


Oh god its been forever since Ive done one of these. Feel free to harshly judge.
#2
Right, welcome back Rand, it's been a while. I'll be grading your app, so let's get straight to it.

                                                                       -=oOo=-

Childhood: You don't currently give much about your character's life starting from his birth, to the age of 112(?) - I'm guessing 15, because it's AV 28 by the time Ra starts off in the mining track - and I would like to know more about how he spent his childhood years and what it was like growing up in a mining town, because 15 years are rather a long time to leave it blank in a backstory.

Execution: For someone who looked up to his father more than anything in the world, Ra seems surprisingly unaffected by the execution afterwards. Did the death of his father, and the feeling of betrayal affect him in any way for the years to follow? Obviously his mother was devastated, and he had to take care of her, but I'd like to see what effects the event had on Ra himself.

Mining Skill: Considering Ra started mining at 15, the age of 33 isn't quite enough for a character to have an expert skill. Remember that to have an expert skill, a character needs 15 years of practive outside the years he or she would've spent learning the skill in the first place. I suggest taking his skill down a notch, and leaving it at advanced. 

                                                                        -=oOo=-

So that's it for the first round, and might I request you to proofread your backstory? It doesn't exactly hold ground in the criteria for approval, but it would certainly make the process a bit, smoother. 

Bump the thread once you're done!
#3
Updated! Sorry for the long wait, got a little busy.

Oh god it all turned into that code box. I cant figure out how to delete that.
#4
Sorry as well, turned out I was to be busy too. As for the application, everything seems to be in order. This is APPROVED.
  


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