Hi, and welcome to Mesalia! I'm 3llusive and I'll be reviewing your application today. There are some things that we need to work on with your application, so lets get to it.
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1. More overall detail is required in your backstory. Try to work in some detail about his hardships and any happy times that might help explain how he's become who he is at present. Try to leave the guesswork out of your backstory and explain really just how his life played out. For example, try to include details on who his parents were, and perhaps if he has any memories of them. Describe how long he lived out on the streets and how that affected him on a personal level. Please revise your backstory to explain him a bit more.
2. More detail for your character's personality is required. I'd like to know more about who your character is. I want you to let me know how your character thinks, what he values, and perhaps how he deals with other people. You can try to work these details into your backstory, or you can add a separate section on his personality if that is preferable.
3. Revision of your character's skills is needed. Be thorough with your list of skills and try to specify exactly what level of proficiency he is at them. For example, you mention your character using a bow -- yet you don't list him having any skill in archery. Please revise it in a manner that makes it as clear as possible on what your character's capabilities are.
4. Please revise your formatting. The text being completely unbolded and typeface makes it somewhat difficult to find specific points of your application and in a couple places you accidentally left in a bit of the subtext from the format page. If you would go back and bold the outline of the application it'd help with reviewing it greatly.
This is application is a good example of what to include in your application: (http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=221)
I look forward to your revisions. Good luck!
3llusive
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1. More overall detail is required in your backstory. Try to work in some detail about his hardships and any happy times that might help explain how he's become who he is at present. Try to leave the guesswork out of your backstory and explain really just how his life played out. For example, try to include details on who his parents were, and perhaps if he has any memories of them. Describe how long he lived out on the streets and how that affected him on a personal level. Please revise your backstory to explain him a bit more.
2. More detail for your character's personality is required. I'd like to know more about who your character is. I want you to let me know how your character thinks, what he values, and perhaps how he deals with other people. You can try to work these details into your backstory, or you can add a separate section on his personality if that is preferable.
3. Revision of your character's skills is needed. Be thorough with your list of skills and try to specify exactly what level of proficiency he is at them. For example, you mention your character using a bow -- yet you don't list him having any skill in archery. Please revise it in a manner that makes it as clear as possible on what your character's capabilities are.
4. Please revise your formatting. The text being completely unbolded and typeface makes it somewhat difficult to find specific points of your application and in a couple places you accidentally left in a bit of the subtext from the format page. If you would go back and bold the outline of the application it'd help with reviewing it greatly.
This is application is a good example of what to include in your application: (http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=221)
I look forward to your revisions. Good luck!
3llusive