08-06-2013, 03:51 PM
General: I'm almost hesitant to finish this because once I'm done I won't actually be able to play for more than a weak and that I won't have a project to work on, oh well.
1. Added paragraph beginning with "Valmythrall was saddened by the lose of his home," It's the 4th paragraph.
2. I saw that this was a little too cliche, not well written, and wholly agree with you that it was awful. Instead I added the portion with the town Elder, and gave explanation for each person's thoughts and actions.
3. Added more explanation on where they went for each activity, added some feeling to Val' for each activity, and why he was willing to go about each activity.
4. Added an explicit personality file from my planning stage, it should be more than enough, hopefully.
1. Added paragraph beginning with "Valmythrall was saddened by the lose of his home," It's the 4th paragraph.
2. I saw that this was a little too cliche, not well written, and wholly agree with you that it was awful. Instead I added the portion with the town Elder, and gave explanation for each person's thoughts and actions.
3. Added more explanation on where they went for each activity, added some feeling to Val' for each activity, and why he was willing to go about each activity.
4. Added an explicit personality file from my planning stage, it should be more than enough, hopefully.