09-02-2014, 09:37 PM
Hello, Rand. You already know my name so I'll save you time and start with your feedback.
- Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over his life, save for the final act of course. The backstory needs to show more description of how he was as a child, how he was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting. Please work on this.
- ‘Having parents who made it a personal vendetta to see any Xitians hanged when they could.’ Why is this? Were they in any way harmed in the past? It’s well enough that they didn’t tell Orosvor, but we still need to know. Please elaborate on this.
- ‘Orosvor coming of age’ So around 16-21. We’ve missed a large chunk of his life here which needs to be described. What events and teaching took place in this time? Did he help his parents with anything, for example.
- As the last point, the character's backstory must end with their arrival in the Forbidden Lands, where the RP setting is located. Please add this to the backstory in your next edit.