Haithere. I got a few points for you to address RL.
The journey's effect
I hate to say it, but this should be more of a fair give-and-take. You wish for your character to return with new items and some fresh additions to skill while there seem to be little to no effect of the long and hard journey on him. I am not saying there have to be anything drastic or life changing, but a long and hard journey like this (with absolutely certainly about 3ish months in the wild defending against Dusk and somehow gathering food for themselves) with a goal that ultimately failed should at least leave more of the temporary effects than just feeling sorry. More mention of this would be preferred. Again I remind you; I'm not asking for anything permanent or life changing. Just an acknowledgement of the journey taking place at all.
(I have a hunch that above is related to Hutchy's earlier point 2 that refers to more detail)
Remove this:
And I'm sorry to say, above quote doesn't work for me (I play a char over a decade older and still wouldn't try to say that life has no effect on her because she's old and experienced). I'm just gonna ask that you remove this part though and focus on the "effect of the journey" part.
Leaving circumstances
Related to above, there's little or no consideration for the leaving circumstances. I'm referring to:
1) End of winter - early spring. It had in the old setting been stated already that the hunting was null in the area. Combined with:
2) Lack of food supplies. Ravenna was already starving. The Minwu's likely took some, but there's also a reason why escaping Ravenna by foot was NOT an option for the chars in the setting. The supplies wouldn't last.
While I'm aware that the leave was necessary, above shouldn't be ignored.
The journey's effect
I hate to say it, but this should be more of a fair give-and-take. You wish for your character to return with new items and some fresh additions to skill while there seem to be little to no effect of the long and hard journey on him. I am not saying there have to be anything drastic or life changing, but a long and hard journey like this (with absolutely certainly about 3ish months in the wild defending against Dusk and somehow gathering food for themselves) with a goal that ultimately failed should at least leave more of the temporary effects than just feeling sorry. More mention of this would be preferred. Again I remind you; I'm not asking for anything permanent or life changing. Just an acknowledgement of the journey taking place at all.
(I have a hunch that above is related to Hutchy's earlier point 2 that refers to more detail)
Remove this:
Quote:Lyrxi has hardly changed in any noticeable way from before his journey, having been able to stay himself most likely due to age, experience and focus.
And I'm sorry to say, above quote doesn't work for me (I play a char over a decade older and still wouldn't try to say that life has no effect on her because she's old and experienced). I'm just gonna ask that you remove this part though and focus on the "effect of the journey" part.
Leaving circumstances
Related to above, there's little or no consideration for the leaving circumstances. I'm referring to:
1) End of winter - early spring. It had in the old setting been stated already that the hunting was null in the area. Combined with:
2) Lack of food supplies. Ravenna was already starving. The Minwu's likely took some, but there's also a reason why escaping Ravenna by foot was NOT an option for the chars in the setting. The supplies wouldn't last.
While I'm aware that the leave was necessary, above shouldn't be ignored.