[Hutchy]

Hello, Jarvis. I'm Hutchy, and I'll be helping you through whitelisting.

• Your backstory needs more detail and relation to the server lore, which can be found here. Lore relation helps us judge how well they character will fit into the setting, and the overall backstory lets us gauge if they are a believable character and, again, how they fit into the setting. I recommend that you take a look at previous, accepted applications and/or character sheets, a large list of examples can be found here, to help you get a better idea of how it should look and read.

• In addition, we need a more detailed path through the backstory, the character’s age at certain events being an example of this.

• Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over his life. The backstory needs to show more description of how he was as a child, how he was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting. Please work on this.
  Additionally, your application requires a personality section that describes them as a person. This lets us know that you know the character. When you add further detail to the backstory, it can help you accomplish this.

• Finally, your character's backstory must conclude with their arrival in the Forbidden Lands, where the RP setting is located.

That's all for now, please bump the thread when you're done and we'll continue from there.