Ok Rokku, I'm here to get this thing made into official canon lore.
Basics first:
- General spelling e.g. Heirarchy, and discrepancies between Lochelf and Lockelf.
And that's it. No seriously though this thing is almost there. I would like to see a bit more in the history relating it to other major events we all know about. The Xitian slavery is briefly touched upon, but a little more on it wouldn't go amiss, and some of the older things might be worth mentioning just to help place Atarsis' age alongside the worlds'.
Asides from that though I have no major gripes. This is well written and fits nicely (though some of it could be rewritten slightly, personal thing), probably because it's not some ridiculously over complicated lore proposal (Like the one I'm trying to write for a different nation).
Cheers,
Conrad
Basics first:
- General spelling e.g. Heirarchy, and discrepancies between Lochelf and Lockelf.
And that's it. No seriously though this thing is almost there. I would like to see a bit more in the history relating it to other major events we all know about. The Xitian slavery is briefly touched upon, but a little more on it wouldn't go amiss, and some of the older things might be worth mentioning just to help place Atarsis' age alongside the worlds'.
Asides from that though I have no major gripes. This is well written and fits nicely (though some of it could be rewritten slightly, personal thing), probably because it's not some ridiculously over complicated lore proposal (Like the one I'm trying to write for a different nation).
Cheers,
Conrad