2015-01-14
I’d a lengthy discussion with Hara in the clinic. One may wonder how the Nether that went and I’ll have to admit it didn’t go that fucking well of course. I tried, I did, to offer peace and understanding but it’s in her belief it’s impossible. I’m more prone to think the truth is she doesn’t want to. She’s despised me from start, there was never any chances given. Be it cause the first bad impression, that I’m the Elder or cause she wants to take my job. Who I am have never had a chance.
I gave it hard tries and it failed. That’s that. I won’t waste the time if she won’t. I’ve done that in the past and it almost always ends in disappointment.
Unfortunately though, I had a moment where I just didn’t wish to talk anymore. I felt so tired with everything, exhausted. And Hara started to go on about that I’m broken, not whole or something down those lines. I’m aware I’m still recovering but she insisted on that damned weird question again. Asking what long for. I’m not sure I entirely understood the question this time either but I replied that I long for closeness and fire. I guess that was the closest words I could figure to describe it all. And we soon discussed going out to battle dusk which I said I rather do alone but of course… the first thing Hara starts spitting at the thought is that I’m sick, suicidal, and just out to kill myself if I go alone. Which aside from the insulting suggestion is outright ridiculous and she went on about how I talk about death and my own as if I long for it. Right now I’m tired, that is true, but that I long for it would be to really take it too far. If anything, I long to live again. [There’s an ink spot here, as if the tip of the quil’s rested for a while against the paper]
I think I know what I need to do. I need to get out of here. Out on the road again, experience new views and meet new people. Or visit the warriors of Wyndallon again, maybe even the old Wanderers I found there. And my nephew. Find new battles to fight. Or old ones, I could stop by Provensia and say hi to my son. It’s a little soon for another vacation but why not? Nether, maybe I should consider to dump the job on Victor and just leave on undecided time, they probably don’t need me that much here anymore. I could start this little adventure of mine with meeting my granddaughter Ezrita and my great grandson. Then teach those that assaulted Light and his baby some well earned lessons.
It does sound much better than fighting some dusks while trying to keep the babysitting Hara out of harms way. But humoring the thought is different from executing it. I won’t be able to head out before Zaira’s up and about again though, I got plenty of time to think it through.
I’d a lengthy discussion with Hara in the clinic. One may wonder how the Nether that went and I’ll have to admit it didn’t go that fucking well of course. I tried, I did, to offer peace and understanding but it’s in her belief it’s impossible. I’m more prone to think the truth is she doesn’t want to. She’s despised me from start, there was never any chances given. Be it cause the first bad impression, that I’m the Elder or cause she wants to take my job. Who I am have never had a chance.
I gave it hard tries and it failed. That’s that. I won’t waste the time if she won’t. I’ve done that in the past and it almost always ends in disappointment.
Unfortunately though, I had a moment where I just didn’t wish to talk anymore. I felt so tired with everything, exhausted. And Hara started to go on about that I’m broken, not whole or something down those lines. I’m aware I’m still recovering but she insisted on that damned weird question again. Asking what long for. I’m not sure I entirely understood the question this time either but I replied that I long for closeness and fire. I guess that was the closest words I could figure to describe it all. And we soon discussed going out to battle dusk which I said I rather do alone but of course… the first thing Hara starts spitting at the thought is that I’m sick, suicidal, and just out to kill myself if I go alone. Which aside from the insulting suggestion is outright ridiculous and she went on about how I talk about death and my own as if I long for it. Right now I’m tired, that is true, but that I long for it would be to really take it too far. If anything, I long to live again. [There’s an ink spot here, as if the tip of the quil’s rested for a while against the paper]
I think I know what I need to do. I need to get out of here. Out on the road again, experience new views and meet new people. Or visit the warriors of Wyndallon again, maybe even the old Wanderers I found there. And my nephew. Find new battles to fight. Or old ones, I could stop by Provensia and say hi to my son. It’s a little soon for another vacation but why not? Nether, maybe I should consider to dump the job on Victor and just leave on undecided time, they probably don’t need me that much here anymore. I could start this little adventure of mine with meeting my granddaughter Ezrita and my great grandson. Then teach those that assaulted Light and his baby some well earned lessons.
It does sound much better than fighting some dusks while trying to keep the babysitting Hara out of harms way. But humoring the thought is different from executing it. I won’t be able to head out before Zaira’s up and about again though, I got plenty of time to think it through.