08-01-2019, 02:28 PM
Hello, TJ/Todd, and welcome! Hutchy, our Whitelister, is dealing with some technical issues, so I'll be starting your process off.
I like the character idea and her story! The last just need a bit of fleshing out.
Lore relation
More isn't necessarily more, you get a lot through short and sweetly, but as you can see in the application instructions we will need you to refer to some points in the lore. You might also want to specify when in her life she made larger changes, how old was she and so on.
Skills
You may add deceitful/manipulative as a personality trait rather than a skill. This is because it's a trait that you will need to roleplay accordingly rather than a skill. It's also worth to remember this when you roleplay as being poor at roleplaying the trait and try to force people to fall for what they obviously wouldn't fall for won't do.
You don't write in your story why or how she has the skills she has, specifically cooking and weaving. I suggest that you use a clarification of this to flesh out the story a little bit more as it is something we will need to see. I can see how she'd know cooking, but who taught her and when if her parents were distant? Did she still work as the king's lover to earn that level of skill?
Tips and recommendations (you do not have to do this)
I recommend that if she has some skill in thievery you add the skill "slight of hand", perhaps at novice-level if she is out of practice and doesn't do it anymore. This would be to cover what you write in your story and the eventuality that it becomes relevant sometime in the future.
Lastly, I always recommend that you're aware of what might work as a skill related to her eventual profession(s) and add a hobby if you haven't already thought of that. I can see how this could be the weaving but since the story doesn't clarify on this yet I just want to mention it.
That's all, folks!
Good luck! Bump your post when done editing, feel free to give edits a different colour.
I like the character idea and her story! The last just need a bit of fleshing out.
Lore relation
More isn't necessarily more, you get a lot through short and sweetly, but as you can see in the application instructions we will need you to refer to some points in the lore. You might also want to specify when in her life she made larger changes, how old was she and so on.
Skills
You may add deceitful/manipulative as a personality trait rather than a skill. This is because it's a trait that you will need to roleplay accordingly rather than a skill. It's also worth to remember this when you roleplay as being poor at roleplaying the trait and try to force people to fall for what they obviously wouldn't fall for won't do.
You don't write in your story why or how she has the skills she has, specifically cooking and weaving. I suggest that you use a clarification of this to flesh out the story a little bit more as it is something we will need to see. I can see how she'd know cooking, but who taught her and when if her parents were distant? Did she still work as the king's lover to earn that level of skill?
Tips and recommendations (you do not have to do this)
I recommend that if she has some skill in thievery you add the skill "slight of hand", perhaps at novice-level if she is out of practice and doesn't do it anymore. This would be to cover what you write in your story and the eventuality that it becomes relevant sometime in the future.
Lastly, I always recommend that you're aware of what might work as a skill related to her eventual profession(s) and add a hobby if you haven't already thought of that. I can see how this could be the weaving but since the story doesn't clarify on this yet I just want to mention it.
That's all, folks!
Good luck! Bump your post when done editing, feel free to give edits a different colour.