[ww2buff99]

In Game Name (IGN): ww2buff99

How did you find us? (Forums, friend, previous member, etc…) Browsing[b]

[b]About You: I've played on the minecraft roleplay server Lord of the Craft for over two years. I'm 15, and by this point, have a very good sense of roleplay. I don't know what else to say tbh.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name: Tundrak

Age: 19

Gender: Male

Appearance: Tundrak is a human with fair skin, and light hair. He stands at 6' tall, with a muscular build. His eyes are a vibrant shade of misty grey. He can usually be seen smiling, and is quite handsome overall.

Personality: Tundrak is known to be honorable, yet also firm. He has no tolerance for wrong-doers, and will not hesitate to dispose of anyone who gets in his way. Other than that, he could be considered naive in most ways, yet he's willing to take a risk when he, his friends, or something he believes in are threatened. Having heard all about the Xitians, he has developed a strong fear of them, yet also a fiery hatred. While he may hesitate upon seeing one, he will soon find himself attacking it in pure rage.

Backstory: Tundrak was born in the vast wilderness, living with only his parents. From a young age his parents instilled in him an impeccable set of morals and beliefs, which he has ever since held very dear. He learned to show no mercy to Xitians, yet also to fear them. He was taught about the War of Veld and Civil War, of which his grandfather and father had been veterans. Soldiers' blood runs through his veins. His family bears a harsh grudge against all Xitians, and would gladly see their extermination. His family had lost a number of their own in conflict with Xitians. Quickly, he learned to trust these "Lucins", and also to only harm other Mesalians if absolutely necessary, something his father had stressed. He worked hard as a young child, helping his dad chop away at trees. It was tiring work, but satisfying nonetheless. Through this, he gained his love of nature, yet also his fascination with towns and larger groups of people. Social interaction scares him, as he's only ever interacted with his family because of their remote location. Rather than play with his siblings, it was his duty as the eldest son to work alongside his father and to take charge whenever his father left on extended trips. Through this he gained some management skills, yet also learned that to get things done one must work hard. He's always been notably serious, quiet, shy, and naive.

Once he came of age, his father sent him away, wanting his son to learn to make a living in the world. Tundrak complied, and set out to do just that. Physically, he had developed into a strong, young man, yet he still had only received a very informal education. His social interaction skills are very limited, causing him to be labeled introverted and even anti-social. After setting out, he soon arrived in the town of Alroc, but found little of interest there for someone of his background and profession, quickly moving on in search of other civilization. Unable to find a suitable location to settle down, though, Tundrak's mind wonders back to the possibility of being a soldier and fighting off the Xitians.

Capabilities:
Agriculture - Beginner
Athletic - Adept
Combat - Adept
Engineering - Beginner
Fine Arts - Beginner
Handicrafts - Adept (Wood-carving)
Knowledge - Beginner
Labor - Adept (Lumber-jacking)
Miscellaneous - Beginner
Music - Beginner
Social - Basic
Stealth - Moderate
Tradeskills - Adept (carpentry)
Wilderness - Expert

Items: He carries with him a little wooden statue of a Lucin soldier, given to him by his father before he was sent away. He also carries the axe he had used so much to help his father and provide firewood for the family and materials for crafting.

Additional Comments: None. Can't wait to play on this server!

[Hutchy]

Hello, WW2buff. I'm one of the whitelisters here and I must apologise for the wait. This is to let you know that we know you're here, and that we'll start grading your application soon.

[Hutchy]

Hello, WW2buff. I'm Hutchy and I'll be helping you through whitelisting.

• Your backstory needs more relation to the setting's lore, which can be found here. There needs to be some relation to the lore to help us see how and why this character fits into the setting. What impact did the Civil War have on his home, his family? Does his family bear a grudge because of the slavery? Please elaborate on this.

• Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over his life. The backstory needs to show more description of how his was as a child, how his was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting. Please work on this.

• Your character’s backstory is lacking in explanation of how he grew up. We need to see how his childhood was, what he experienced through adolescence and how he fared as an adult. In short, it needs to be a biography of the character which shows that you know the character, understand the lore, and it must justify all of the character’s personality traits and skills. If you’re having trouble understanding or writing this, the Character Sheets forum is a good place to start.

• Your character’s skills need to be worked on, and it’s current layout makes it difficult to understand the ‘level’ of his skills. I recommend that you read this guide and evaluate the layout of this section using the format '[Skill name] - [Skill Level].

That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue.

[ww2buff99]

Updated. How's this?

[Hutchy]

Alright, ww2buff. Next round.

• My previous point about the server lore still applies. You've made a good start, but there is further lore beyond the Purges and Civil War that will likely have affected your character. Being 19, he’ll have been around to experience some of the fighting during the Civil War and the portal to the Xitian realm reopening. I suggest that you read the lore for the last described age, then work on this point.

• My previous point about what your backstory must entail, that being a bio leading from their birth to their entry into the Forbidden Lands, still applies here. Once again, I suggest that you look around the character sheets forum to see what we’re looking for in a character’s backstory. Additionally, this must also cover the previous point of how he was as a person when he was a child, and beyond, and how the events he experienced affected him.

• It seems you misunderstood the skills guide. What you've done so far isn't the intended result. The list you have right now is that of the major skill groups, not actual skills. Examples of what we’re looking for can also be found in the character sheets forum. For example, rather than Handicrafts - Adept (Wood-carving)’ It would simply be ‘Carving - Adept’. I advise that you re-read the guide to better your understanding, then revise this.

• ‘Tundrak was born in the vast wilderness’ When you say wilderness, I imagine that this small family is living in the desolate, west end of nowhere without any real means of supporting themselves, therefore, likely to be dead within a week. This term is a bit too nondescript about their placement and situation, and can leave the reader scratching their head. Please elaborate on this.

That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue.