[Michelle]

Sweet, glad you’re sticking around. Here’s your feedback:

1. We need your character’s exact age. There’s the implication that Aaron’s somewhere above being a teenager, but his exact age is required so we can work out if your character’s skills are balanced, and that the lore relation in his backstory lines up correctly with the timeline.
2. Your character’s personality requires more detail. While Aaron’s backstory implies some aspects of his personality, we need a more concrete, detailed description. Please include a prose description of Aaron’s personality; it can be another section of your application, or it can be added to the end of your character’s backstory section. Consider things like the character’s faults, ambitions and values. What’s he like in different situations? When writing this description, be sure to consider how Aaron’s life has shaped who he is.

3. Lore issues:

• a) “...the fringes of the Forbidden Lands, but far enough to remain within the vicinity of the Middle Realms...” You seem to be confusing the Main Continent with the Middle Realm. The Main Continent is where all the lore events (i.e. the wars and slavery and the purge) happened, and across the ocean is the Forbidden Lands, which is where the RP is set (see the next point for more on this). Both these places are located inside the Middle Realm, which is like a dimension. Following this logic, you can’t be in the Forbidden Lands and not be in the Middle Realm. The name you’re looking for is the Main Continent, or the mainlands. Please revise your application with this information in mind.
  b) “He had decided to return to the Middle Realms … and here he was.” Following on from the last point, our characters live in a town that’s in the Forbidden Lands, not the Main Continent. Thus, your character’s backstory should end with him arriving at this town. Usually, people have their characters live in the Main Continent during their backstories, and then have them move to the Forbidden Lands, but starting in the Forbidden Lands is fine; he just has to move from one part of the Forbidden Lands to the current setting (which is just another part of the Forbidden Lands). Please also revise your application with this information in mind.

4. Skill issues:

• a) Overall, your character’s skills need to be more realistic. You need to think about these skills in more of a real life context and less in a Minecraft one. For example, his hiding skill: being able to dig into mountainsides and underground involves mining knowledge in real life. Thus, in RP, this would relate to a mining skill, not a hiding skill. Furthermore, in a real-life context, hiding isn't quite a skill. A realistic alternative that doesn’t involve mining is shelter building, which is commonly included in survivalism. See this nifty skill guide for more. Please read the skill guide, then revise your character’s skillset according to this information.
  b) From the whitelist application thread:
  “Characters considered difficult to play
  Thieves, murderers, villains, prostitutes and other types considered needing good roleplay skill to pull off we will rarely accept as someone's first character, if at all.”
  We won’t deny a character with a thieving skill, however I personally recommend you don’t make it your character’s profession or focus. This is because RPing a thief is extremely difficult in this server, especially in the current setting; you and your character will soon learn that there’s not much to steal.

Basically, the issues in your application are mostly matters of detail and lore-confusion. Otherwise, it’s a smooth read. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them. And if you’d like a good example of what we usually accept, here’s one. That’s all, for now. Good luck.