Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
[Trashed] CatKitty721's Application!
#2
Hello, CatKitty. I'm Hutchy and I'll be helping you through whitelisting.
  • Your backstory needs more relation to the setting's lore, which can be found here. There needs to be some relation to the lore to help us see how and why this character fits into the setting. What impact did the Civil War have on her home, her family? Does her family bear a grudge because of the slavery? Please elaborate on this.
  • Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over her life. The backstory needs to show more description of how her was as a child, how her was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting. Please work on this.
  • Additionally, the personality section could do with some fleshing out. This lets us know that you know the character. When you add further detail to the backstory, it can help you accomplish this. Additionally, you must include a personality section. This lets us know that you know the character. When you add further detail to the backstory, it can help you accomplish this.
  • Your character’s skills seem to be quite limited, and it’s current layout makes it difficult to understand the ‘level’ of her skills. I recommend that you read this guide and evaluate the layout of this section.
  • Finally, non-staff characters cannot be Lucins or Xitians, full or half. Please revise this.

That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue.
  


Messages In This Thread
RE: CatKitty721's Application! - by Hutchy - 27-05-2014, 04:30 PM

Possibly Related Threads…
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  [Trashed] CatKitty721's Applicaiton Khaleesi 2 7,702 19-10-2014, 11:59 AM
Last Post: Hutchy

Forum Jump:

[Trashed] CatKitty721's Application!00