[Hutchy]

Alright, Crafter, next round.

• ‘by the age of 10’ We’re missing a good decade of detail here. We need to know what happens in this decade of time. Please elaborate.

• ‘in the space of two weeks bolrath had learned how to create an amulet’ While it isn’t impossible to be a quick learner, going from knowing nothing of smithing to being able to make jewelry simply wouldn’t happen. It would take a few months at least to get a firm grasp on smelting metals effectively to use. While I don’t know about smithing myself, I imagine it would take at least a year to get somewhere close to this level. Smithing isn’t easy to learn. Please revise this.

• ‘A few years later on Bolrath's 13 birthday’ As before, three years have passed with no description as to what happens in that time. We need to know these details to make sure the character is realistic and believable.

• ‘at the end of his birthday week bolrath had crafted a sword’ Making swords is very different to making jewelry. He’d have to learn all new ways of smithing metal, shaping it, tending it and making it ready for use. While it wouldn’t take a year this time, it would still take a few months to get right and make a usable sword. Please revise this.

• ‘but all this blacksmithing has made bolrath muscular and intimidating’ At 13, a boy’s body is not mature enough to show any huge development of musculature, especially not to an intimidating extent.

• ‘he kicked the wall closest to him, creating a hole big enough to stick a baby through.’ Again, even at 15 his body’s musculature would not be capable of this if the hut is made of anything but dried mud straw, or some like material. Moreover, he is a blacksmith, his strength will be concentrated in his arms and torso, not his legs. Please revise.

That's all for now. Bump the thread when you have made the necessary edits and we can continue.