[Hutchy]

Alright, Jujewb. Next round.

• Since the character is 40 he will have a lot of development to him, but this seems mostly glossed over. To help make this character seem believable and realistic, you need to describe how he develops into the character he is when he arrives at the Forbidden Lands. The most important place would be his childhood, as this is often the age where most of a person’s development takes place.
  At the moment, it seems that little has happened to him before meeting the Tinker, if this is the case you should at least describe what he was like as a child, what he did in this time and, finally, at what age he decided enough was enough and left.
  This is also true for the rest of the bio, you must show how that character’s personality changed to fit his current state and how his skills developed over time.

• ‘Things turned around for Kardel. After his departure,’ Again, we’ve lost some time here. We need the details of what happened between him leaving and finding the Tinker. How long did it take, what did he have to do to survive? Please elaborate.

• ‘but projected images’ This gives the impression that this is something straight out of Scooby Doo. Currently, there is no technology, rune based or otherwise, that allows one to project images of beasts or replay beast noises. The best he could do to this end, maybe, is a few wooden cut outs. Please revise.

• Next big question is just how they are getting the materials to make all these things. A cottage out in the middle of the forest doesn’t really seem like it would have much either through traffic or trade, and they aren’t mentioned to ever leave to a large settlement for supplies.

• My point about lore relation still applies here. As he is 40, he will have at least beared witness to the Civil War to some extent, if not also the Purge. Lore relation is both essential and required for a character in this setting. When you are addressing the previous point, you might also find an opportunity to satisfy this one.

• Finally, my point about your skills still applies. You need to translate your skills into the accepted format. For example;
  Hunting - Competent.
  You must do this for all of the characters skills, then I can judge whether they fit and are realistic.

That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue.