26-10-2014, 06:33 PM
Hey blithinn, I'm Leaf, and I'll be reviewing your application.
Non-humans: Technically, we don't have non-humans in the setting. They are more or less all humans, save for a couple of racial differences that allow them to control certain elements of nature. For further clarification, the only race that regular players can play are called 'Mesalians'. They are typically the same as regular human beings, and the other two races are called. Xitians and Lucins. Please take note of this in your next edit.
Lore?: Well basically, I think you'll want to read the lore of the setting, if you haven't done so already. We'd typically ask for relations of the backstory to the lore of the setting, but I'll begin by pointing out things that don't exist, or are implausible given the setting.
More Meat: You've provided us with some raw details here, but unfortunately, we ask more than just that. What kind of a place is Feioton where Markus grows up in? What was his childhood like? Did losing his parents in the war affect him in anyway? What was his motives in becoming a paladin? These are some of the questions you might want to consider in your next edit.
Basically, tell the story of your character. The purpose of the backstory is to tell us what kind of a person your character is, and how he came to be that character. Show us how he developed into that character, and how he was affected by various events in his life.
Skills: We don't exactly give skill ratings to knowledges; we leave that to the player to RP it out. I suggest you look at the skill guide here, and edit accordingly.
That should be it for round one. Good luck editing, and bump the thread when you're done!
-=oOo=-
Non-humans: Technically, we don't have non-humans in the setting. They are more or less all humans, save for a couple of racial differences that allow them to control certain elements of nature. For further clarification, the only race that regular players can play are called 'Mesalians'. They are typically the same as regular human beings, and the other two races are called. Xitians and Lucins. Please take note of this in your next edit.
Lore?: Well basically, I think you'll want to read the lore of the setting, if you haven't done so already. We'd typically ask for relations of the backstory to the lore of the setting, but I'll begin by pointing out things that don't exist, or are implausible given the setting.
- Holy Wars: So far, there hasn't been any holy wars in the setting, and the religion you seem to be thinking of in your backstory doesn't exist either. There exists in the setting a separate religion that most are familiar with, and although you are free to create a lore for the religion you're proposing, I suggest you take a look at the religion lore of our setting first: Religion Lore
More Meat: You've provided us with some raw details here, but unfortunately, we ask more than just that. What kind of a place is Feioton where Markus grows up in? What was his childhood like? Did losing his parents in the war affect him in anyway? What was his motives in becoming a paladin? These are some of the questions you might want to consider in your next edit.
Basically, tell the story of your character. The purpose of the backstory is to tell us what kind of a person your character is, and how he came to be that character. Show us how he developed into that character, and how he was affected by various events in his life.
Skills: We don't exactly give skill ratings to knowledges; we leave that to the player to RP it out. I suggest you look at the skill guide here, and edit accordingly.
-=oOo=-
That should be it for round one. Good luck editing, and bump the thread when you're done!