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[Trashed] River's Application
#1
In Game Name(IGN):
I don’t actually have one yet, I don’t want to bother paying for it until after I get accepted.

Why do you want to join?
To be honest, because a close friend is begging me to give it a try. I love to write, and I’ve done a few small group role plays on a forum. But never got too far into it, seems fun though.

Do you have any RP'ing experience?
A pinch. Perhaps a dash. Maybe a light drizzle? I’m new to this, in a way.

Your Character Biography:
Nicole Shepherd was born to a high ranking soldier, and a nurse. Her parents never married, so she lived with her mother. She learned of war early in life with frequent battles keeping her family on the move. She never lived in the same place for more than a few months and never kept many friends. As she grew old enough for work her father began to visit once a month to instill an attitude of military discipline befitting of the legion. Discipline, exercise, and practice. She wasn’t entirely unhappy, her father gave her whatever she wanted so long as what she wanted was useful. And when he was not visiting, she lived an easier life studying healing with her mother.

She dreamed of becoming a nurse. Or a traveler. Then she turned fifteen. It was time for the price of her father’s wealth, and the culmination of all his preparation. She joined the legion, almost immediately being assigned to a small group of scouts and messengers. As a last gift her father paid for a strangely built bow to be made for her, one that held back the bow string itself until she pulled a trigger. Even after all his exercise she was not strong enough to hold back a longbow’s string for very long. She wasn’t trained beyond basic military customs when she joined, young messengers didn’t get fighting training. Instead she was immediately put to work, learning how to run and overtake obstacles instead of fight.

For two years she served. She saw the worst of the battles and it terrified her. She filled with sadness and rage, living a life of turmoil and surviving only by learning to stow it away. Living on constant rushes of adrenaline and the overwhelming sense of friendship she felt for the other messengers instead of instinct, or fear. It served her well, she survived the civil wars for two years before finally being assigned to work with a group of marines who were escorting settlers to the forbidden lands. She had no place on a ship, spending almost her entire time talking to the other scout with the group to distract herself from the constant feeling of needing to vomit.

Once they all arrived in the forbidden lands, the ship dropped anchor and they departed from it on much smaller life boats. They didn’t see the dusk creature ambush coming until they were already on the beach losing men. Some of the settlers turned back in the life boats, only to realize dusk creatures had climbed the anchor chain onto the main vessel from the seafloor. The marines tried to hold ground while the two scouts moved the remaining civilians to safety. In the end, only the two scouts and a handful of young settlers survived. While marines stood ground and fought, the scouts knew how to be weak and not take the fight. They kept moving, never looking back. Taking the civilians with them until they came across a trail of strange stone pillars.

Specify your character's skills:
Nicole was useful in war, but in an environment of peace she has little to no skill. The only thing really going for her is an eager smile and a willingness to learn. She is capable of trained first aid, such as stitches and splints. She however knows nothing of medicine save basic painkillers. She has decent aim as an archer, but lacks the upper body strength to aim a longbow very well. Instead she prefers a custom made crossbow. Her best skills are from her work as a scout and a messenger. She is extremely agile and fast, and has developed remarkable stamina and memory.

Does your character bring anything to the setting (part from clothes)?
Nicole had to drop most of her belongings while running from dusk creatures, keeping only the broken remains of her crossbow, and a small leather bound book with a piece of coal to write with. The crossbow is nothing more than a shattered wood frame and barely attached bent metal parts.

Anything you'd like to add?
I apologize in advance for the format of the back story. I'm a bit eager to get at least this draft posted.
#2
I need to edit this. The story fell apart. I'll post another reply when it is fixed.
#3
Hello, and welcome to Mesalia. I’m Michelle and as you know, I’ll be reviewing your application. I understand you’re currently editing this, but here are a few important points which you may or may not be aware of for your next revision:

1. Please provide an IGN. This point will remain and you will not be accepted into the server until an IGN is provided, as your application is simply incomplete without one.
2. Please specify your character’s current age. This is required as full feedback cannot currently be given on the following topics without it: lore relation, skill realism and balancing.
3. An in-depth and detailed description of your character’s personality is required in your character’s backstory. Currently, there is insufficient depth and knowledge provided on this in your application. Please revise, ensuring that you are thorough and that your character’s backstory demonstrates the development of your character’s personality over time.
4. Your character’s backstory must end with your character arriving to the current RP setting alone. This means that the entire group that your character came with must a) not be there initially, or b) die before your character reaches the setting. Please revise. However, it seems you are planning on having your character arrive at the setting alongside other characters played by other player(s). If so, you must identify which player(s) you are planning this with (for verification purposes) and understand that your application will not be accepted until all members of your character’s party have been approved. The group itself may be denied; this is to ensure everyone here is inclusive and welcoming to all members with their RP as possible.
5. ‘Marine’ is considered to be a term that is too contemporary for Mesalia’s vaguely medieval timeframe. Please revise.

That’s all, for now. Thank you for waiting patiently and good luck.
I need sleep so bad.
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#4
Trashed due to 'three days' rule. Feel free to re-apply.
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