[k1p4qr44]

In Game Name(IGN): k1p4qr44
Your Minecraft USERNAME: k1p4qr44

Why do you want to join?: I want to join because i love RP, but i am not the best RP'er i will admit so if i do bad please be nice.


Do you have any RP'ing experience?: I have some yes, i roleplay on SWTOR and WoW


Tell us a bit about yourself:
I like Jaffa cakes like simon ^^ I am quite Mature but i can be Immature at times.

Your Character Biography:
Tyron Bladefire's Parents lived within the slavery of the Xitians they were treated like animals and mindless beasts which then led to them getting executed, before they got executed they had a son, Tyron... as Tyron grew up near the end of the years of Slavery he vowed he would destroy the Xitians for what they had done to their Middle realm and bring Honour and Glory to his Family.

When 30 Good years past Tyron became more wise and strong slowly gaining his vengeance on the Xitians until Eventually he had killed a few of them, unaware of Tyron's presence the Xitians went on with their lives, during this time Tyron was Plotting and Planning against them as he vowed he would do 15 Years ago.

Specify your character's skills:
He is trained in Swordmanship in other words fighting with swords.

Do your character bring anything to the setting?: He brought his Family Armour his Ancestors once wore in the Great Kane War, where his ancestors tried defending their realm from both attacking races, and a locket his mother had gave him on the last day he saw her.

Anything you'd like to add:
I hope i get accepted and have a lot of fun on this server[/font][/b][/size]

[Conradian]

Hey there, welcome to Mesalia. I'm Conrad, one of the Lore-Keepers here. Usually it's not my job to grade applications, but I feel like changing pace slightly, and making sure your application gets seen to in good time so you can join us on the server ASAP.

So let's start off, everything I say below will be things I think could do with improving on to get your application up to scratch, but feel free to branch out and expand on anything I say.

- It's really helpful to us if you state the age of your character when applying. This allows us to check that your character's backstory fits around the events of the lore in terms of timescale. Without the character's age it becomes a bit of a guessing game. Based off what's been said it looks like your character is at least 43 (It's been 33 years since the end of the war of Veld and so 43 since the end of slavery)

- Having said that, I can still address the lore relation. The big problem is that while you've managed to mention the slavery and the wars of Veld and Kane, you've not mentioned the civil war that has occurred much more recently. I'd suggest giving out lore page here a check over just to make sure you're up to date with the latest lore.

- You also really ought to expand on Tyron's backstory. There's very little on the actual events of his life and how they shaped him as a person. What was it like being a slave child, how did he feel during the war of Veld, what did he do once free. There's so many questions you can ask yourself about Tyron and then answer in your backstory to really flesh his life out. Just think about everything that's happened in your life up to now, and imagine what could've happened in the life of a man living in a realm torn apart by slavery and war.

- Following that, you really need to make his personality clear. So far I'm getting hints of a man tainted with the fire of revenge, who has his sights set on genocide alone. Whilst this isn't necessarily a no-no, I would recommend perhaps branching him out. A lot has changed in the 33 years since the war ended, and there's far more to do in Mesalia than just kill. He may have revenge set in his heart, but what kind of person is Tyron when revenge is taken out of the picture? Is he kind to friends, maybe cold? Does he like to drink and be merry, or does he quietly drown his sorrows in the corner? Again, so many questions to ask, but make sure his personality fits the backstory that shaped it as best you can manage.

- I also find it fairly hard to imagine a man is so single-minded as to only ever learn and practice swordsmanship (and yeah, I know what it means XD). What else could Tyron have tried his hand at during his life? Woodcutting perhaps? He may have found lumber to put more food on his table than rough-housing people. Maybe he tried his hand at archery, but thought it too quick, after all you don't get to savour all those little emotions. Please expand on that, and check out the skill guide here for help on working out where Tyron stands with his skills.

- Lastly for now, his possessions. The locket is fine, but the family armour is a bit iffy. There's less issue with bringing any armour so much as this set and its history. The war of Kane happened millenia ago. During that time Mesalians (then the ancestral vagrants) were very much unaware of the war, and they didn't take part either. Armour was basic if existent, but the nomadic Vagrants were in a different part of the world all together.

So that's my opening set of points. I'm sorry if they're long-winded, but I'm trying my best to give you everything you need to get on the server as soon as you can. Address everything I've said above and we'll take another look at it soon. Just remember to post that you've updated it, or I won't notice it. Feel free to PM me directly as well when it's updated. That's probably the best way to get ahold of me.

With best wishes,
-Conrad, Lore-Keeper.

[Michelle]

Trashed due to the 'three days' (or one week) rule.
Please feel free to re-apply.