Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
[Trashed] Returning with a new character, Rob.
#1
In Game Name(IGN):
NickB333

Why do you want to join?
I’ve regained interest in RPing and after spending so much of my time here previously, I figured I would return back here where I already know a lot of you. I just hope that my RPing skills haven’t dropped horribly during my inactivity.

Do you have any RP'ing experience?
I’ve been RPing in minecraft for three years so far, and two years specifically on this server

Tell us a bit about yourself:
I’m Nick, a sophomore in high school in the glorious USA.

Your Character Biography:
Name: Robert (Rob) Faust
Occupation: Rune engineer
Age: 17 upon arriving in the Forbidden Lands.
Appearance: Rob is fairly skinny and pale, as he probably has never worked outside a day in his life. He stands at an average height of about 5’10. His hair is of medium length and brown, normally rather messy. He has brown acorn shaped eyes. For clothing he dresses formally, usually wearing brown dress pants and a brown vest over a white shirt.

Backstory:
Rob was born seventeen years ago, in one of the many kingdoms formed as a result of the Civil War. Rob’s town was small and poor. The people who lived there were just trying to keep out of trouble during the war. Rob’s parents were poor, just like the small village they lived in. His father Edward was a hunter and his mother Mary a tailor.

During his childhood, Rob never developed very good social skills. He was an only child and the town had no schools, so he had little interaction with the few other children who lived there. The one person that he did make friend with was his uncle, who ran a small bookstore in the town. When Rob was young, his uncle taught him to read and write, a skill that neither his mother nor father had. Rob would read the books he found interesting in his uncle’s store, despite not understanding the complex teachings in them. When he was nine, Rob became interested in runes after reading books that told about their powers. He asked his uncle all about them but the answers he got were rather limited, as it was a subject that his uncle was not very well versed in.

When Rob was ten, his life took a sharp turn. Within the period of a month, his father was killed in a hunting accident and his mother died in her bed as a result of the flu. Rob was placed under the care of his uncle. Unfortunately, his uncle had a large family of his own to take care of, and on top of that Rob did not get along with his cousins, who were all very chaotic. His uncle’s solution to the problem was to let him follow his interest in runes. While traveling, his uncle had made friends with a rune engineer who lived in one of the kingdom’s larger and richer cities. His uncle sent a letter to the engineer asking if Rob could take the role of his apprentice.

A month later, Rob was on a carriage to Cresthill, the town where Walter, the rune engineer lived. When Rob first met Walter, he was surprised by his appearance. The man had wine colored eyes, which was an alien sight to Rob. Walter explained to Rob what Xitians are, and taught him the basic history of their time in the Middle Realm, including the wars and how the Xitians enslaved the people of the Middle Realm. Walter was not ashamed of his race, he simply accepted what had happened as part of history. Despite being a Xitian, Walter had gained the trust of the town after proving that he was not like the other surviving Xitians, who wished to cause chaos in the Middle Realm. After the two became properly acquainted, Rob took residence in a guest room in Walter’s large home, which was just as surprising to him as Walter’s appearance. The house was large and made of stone. Rob had multiple sets of clothes that Walter bought for him. They were nice and for once his clothing did not have holes in them. It was unlike anything Rob had seen before. However, the comfort of the new home did not comfort him while he still mourned over the loss of his parents.

Though it took time, Rob learned to be happy rather than spending all of his time mourning his dead parents. He also made good friends with the other children in the town. Like him, they were apprentices learning the skill that their masters were teaching them. Though Rob spent much of his time playing games with his new friends, he continued to learn the art of runes from Walter. At first, Rob had a difficult time processing the knowledge. It was in fact, a very difficult subject to teach to an eleven year old. However soon Rob caught on with the concept of runes, and all of the little parts that went in to making and perfecting one. The first runes that Rob made were fairly weak in power. His comm runes did not transmit well and the home runes that he attempted to create failed. Fortunately, this novice stage did not last long for Rob. After a year he was able to create, with the help of Walter, runes sufficient enough to use. Walter had called Rob an engineering prodigy because he was able to learn so fast. Rob did not believe Walter when he was told this though. Rob was very hard on himself, considering his creations failures unless they worked exactly as they were described in the books he read, and even then he wanted to improve.

At the age of fifteen, Rob began to officially work at Walter’s shop. Though he did create runes, most of the time he did basic chores such as cleaning the shop and retrieving rune crafting supplies from the merchants. Michael was the man who ran the goods store, where they sold gold and rune powder, which was very useful for rune crafting. Rob almost always bought rune powder and gold from Michael, who ran a general goods shop with his son William, who was Rob’s age. Rob became good friends with William and would talk with him for long periods of time during his visits to the shop. In fact Rob found William, who had jet black hair and blue eyes, to be quite attractive. Of course Rob never admitted this as he had been told those kinds of feelings should only be felt towards a woman. Rob was ashamed of himself, and to stop feeling the way he did, he stopped buying from Michael and William. After that, Rob only saw William while they were both with friends, and even then he normally tried to avoid conversation with him. Having William present during meeting with his friends often made the encounters awkward and as a result Rob began to spend less time with them. During his newfound free time, Rob began to research more on runes and on other topics, such as the Xitian language which he had requested for Walter to teach him after he read books describing it.

Rob’s period of seclusion lasted until the day that Michael and William moved away from Cresthill to live closer to their family. Rob now could freely talk to his friends without becoming nervous when William was around. All of his friends now in their teens had become proficient in the subject they were learning, just as Rob was with runes. They each shared what they could now do. His friend David, who was a miner, often brought in gold to show off. Anna, a very pretty girl played her flute for the group of friends. Rob particularly enjoyed the sound of the flute, and asked Anna if she could teach him. She accepted, and on days that Rob had off from work the two would meet and Anna would teach him how to play. In exchange, Robtaught Anna what he knew about the Xitian language. Both Rob and Anna had a difficult time learning each other’s skill, though they had fun. Anna would laugh at Rob when he failed to make a decent sounding note come out of the flute, and Robwould poke fun at Anna when she butchered Xitian words. It wasn’t long before the meetings between Rob and Anna were about things other than an exchange of knowledge. Rob thought of Anna as very attractive, like how he felt towards William, but this time he wasn’t afraid to admit how he felt. Fortunately Anna felt the same way towards Rob. Both Rob and Anna were sixteen years old at this time, and their relationship was very typical for teenagers. Two months into the relationship Rob had pendants made for him and Anna, with communication runes in them, so that they could talk to each other at almost any time. Of course, the constant communication did turn out to be quite annoying at times when Rob was working.

It wasn’t long before news that the Dusk Portal had reopened reached Cresthill. The majority of the townspeople kept calm and continued their daily routines, but the fear of another war breaking out was in the back of everyone’s mind. Rob felt the same way, especially after learning the history of the war and the prelude to it. However, he could not leave Cresthill, so he simply tried to remain as hopeful as possible that everything would turn out peacefully.

Rob remained hopeful until the day he saw Anna showing symptoms of sickness. A few days later, Anna was bedridden with influenza. Rob, remembering how he lost his most six years prior to the flu, thought the worst of the situation. A week later Anna succumbed to the flu and Rob was devastated. He was in the same emotional place he was when he arrived in Cresthill years ago. After a short time mourning, he decided that there was nothing keeping him in the city anymore, and he did not wish to take chances now that there was a possibility that war could break out with the return of the Xitians at any moment. He also wondered how Walter would react if there was conflict involving the Xitians again. Rob thanked Walter for everything he did for him, and said his goodbyes. He decided to take one of the boats that were set to leave for the Forbidden Lands that he had heard about for so long.

The boat ride was a long one, and it gave him plenty of time to reflect upon his life and his current decisions. He thought about how he would start his new life on this new continent, how he would get a job and anything else one can stress themselves over. He was nervous, but hopeful that this new life in the Forbidden Lands would be better than his last one on the Main Continent.



Specify your character's skills:
-Engineering: Rune (Advanced) Mechanical (Competent)
-Basic knowledge of the Xitian language (Apprentice)
-Basic knowledge on how to play the flute (Novice)
-Reading and writing
-Knowledge of history of the Main Continent


Do your character bring anything to the setting (part from clothes)?
-Books on runes
-Necklace with comm rune (No longer useful as it was linked to Anna’s comm rune necklace)


Anything you'd like to add:
I’ve based all of the rune lore off of what was on the old website as I cannot find any threads on it on this website. Hope that’s okay!
#2
Hey Nick, welcome back! I’ll be handling your application so lets get started~

Backstory
Quote:During his childhood, Rob never developed very good social skills.
--You say this early into your application but later he doesn't struggle at all when making friends with other apprentices. Where did this social butterfly come from? Please revise.

--Your characters personality does not come across very clearly in the application. Please provide a personality section, please write the personality details in prose form (not a list) and please make sure this personality coincides with the decisions he makes in the backstory.

--Staff will not accept any 'prodigy' character. In the interest of fairness to everyone, please remove this and adjust the skills and backstory accordingly.

--Rune engineering is an immensely complex field. It's referred to as an engineering skill for this reason. I cannot fathom a rune engineer being capable of successfully making tiny, hand held, home or communication runes without already being capable enough to manage the rest of rune engineering as a profession. Which would make the home and communication runes competent or better skill requirements. That being said, your back story implies your character was this good at around 15 which I cannot accept. Please revise.

Quote:Two months into the relationship Rob had pendants made for him and Anna, with communication runes in them, so that they could talk to each other at almost any time.
--So far as I know the size of communication and home runes has always been about the size of the palm of your hand. This probably averages around 3 inches in diameter (7.5 cm), which would make the devices too large and awkward to wear as pendants unless of course you want to go with the sort of gold chain Mr.T look.

--The flu is pretty contagious and Rob has been exposed to deathly ill people, twice. Did he shut himself away from his mother and Ann when they got sick? Did he ever get sick? Please elaborate.

Quote:He was in the same emotional place he was when he arrived in Cresthill years ago.
--So he was with this girl for months, maybe a year, and this resulted in the same emotional turmoil as losing both your parents in the course of a month? He seems to get very attached to people very quickly, while not having any such link to his mentor whom he’d lived with for years. This seems inconsistent; Please elaborate, I’d expect this to also be something that should be addressed in the personality section.

Rune Lore
I am about a week or so away from finally releasing this lore; This has nothing to do with your application, this is a project I’ve been working on for the better part of the last year. There are major changes to the way this functions along with explanations and expectations for skill levels. This release of lore will have substantial effect on your character, that being said, you may have second thoughts on the choice of profession when it does release. I’ve made it a point to explain a lot of things that were left vague originally. I am attempting to grade based on a fair middle ground, as much of the original lore was maintained, though heavily altered. I wanted to make you aware of this as you will be held to the new standard when this releases. So far my review applies to both sets of lore. And I will continue to grade this application accordingly, it is up to you if you wish to pursue this without the lore or wait for release. I just thought I’d let you know that’s upcoming.

Skills
a) No one at 17 is capable of having an advanced skill. At best, 17 can achieve 1 competent skill, but the dedication needed for this at such a young age mean's he'd have very few other skills and none of them would be considerable. Please read the Skill Guide for further details on how to better balance your character. It’s strongly recommended all of his skills be lowered, and a few removed.

b) You mention mechanical engineering but it’s not explained at all in your backstory. Mechanical engineering isn’t part of rune engineering and doesn’t come with rune education. Where did he learn this? Please revise and also adjust the skill to account for what’s stated in point (a).

c) Two years of study would make his knowledge of Xitian language 'Novice'. Please revise but keep point (a) in mind.

d) I also require a ranking for his Lore knowledge. If it's substantial enough to warrant mentioning in his skills then it warrants a rank. Please revise but keep point (a) in mind.



Until these revisions are made I can’t really suggest much more. Please update and remember to bump the thread when your done.
#3
Hey Pink. I've considered what you said about the new lore and I think I will wait to finish this app when it comes out (or if it does seem like much, switch professions). I'll also be busy with finals for the next week and a half or so, that I just realised are coming up. I should have the edited version up after the lore is released and after I finish finals, or maybe even before if time allows me to. Thanks.
#4
Like I said, my reviews so far have been in light of both lores. But yeah, I can understand your stance on that. I will post the rune lore as soon as I can. Good luck with your finals!
#5
Hey there Nick. I just wanted to bump your thread to let you know the Rune Lore has been released.
  


Forum Jump:

[Trashed] Returning with a new character, Rob.00